I asked the cards, “WHEN will I make a substantial income from my online businesses?”
The answer I got went deep. The “Politics” card, featuring a man wearing a mask, attempting to charm and deceive. He’s a politician, giving the people what they want, or what he wants them to see.
At first, I was really defensive when this card came up. I thought to myself, “I’m a genuine person. I don’t deceive anyone.” It took me a few days of contemplation to really be honest, even with myself.
Who Am I Anyway?
It can be a challenge figuring out who we are in life, and an even bigger challenge facing fears of judgement, or criticism when we choose how we represent ourselves to others. This card says to me, I will be successful when I am willing to be vulnerable enough to show my stripes in their full glory.
I am very cautious, and think about what others will think, when I post to my blog, or create any content for the web. That’s a wise thing in general, it is a public venue, but there is such a thing as stifling yourself creatively, or possibly just not being confident in one’s own sense of art or content value.
Sometimes It’s Easier to Growl Than to Cry
This card also applies to my personal life, and related to the reading that I performed just the day before. The “Fighting” card came up when I asked, “How can I lessen my anxiety?” Again, I was defensive in that reading. Hmmm, a pattern? These two cards are intertwined, and so are my feelings of defensiveness.
I tend to become aggressive when I am passionate about something, and I feel misunderstood. I am often unaware of how this looks to others, sometimes it looks like I am fighting for something, instead of expressing my feelings. My aggressive communication style in these interactions relates to the “Politics” card. I am wearing a mask of defensiveness, when in reality, I am feeling something else, something deeper down the stairwell of my heart.
When I get in touch with those deeper feelings, I will be able to open up more genuinely in both my personal life, and through my blogging. This post is a step in that direction.