How Bill Murray Changed My Life

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Where I’m From Growing up in an abusive foster home really did a number on how I viewed the world. After I graduated high school at 17 years of age, and left “home,” I got a full-time job and an apartment with my boyfriend, a man in his mid-20s. I … Continue reading

Tarot Journal – If you want to be successful, you’ve got to get real.

When will I be successfulYour Value Lies in Your Uniqueness

I asked the cards, “WHEN will I make a substantial income from my online businesses?”

The answer I got went deep. The “Politics” card, featuring a man wearing a mask, attempting to charm and deceive. He’s a politician, giving the people what they want, or what he wants them to see.

At first, I was really defensive when this card came up. I thought to myself, “I’m a genuine person. I don’t deceive anyone.” It took me a few days of contemplation to really be honest, even with myself.

Who Am I Anyway?

It can be a challenge figuring out who we are in life, and an even bigger challenge facing fears of judgement, or criticism when we choose how we represent ourselves to others. This card says to me, I will be successful when I am willing to be vulnerable enough to show my stripes in their full glory.

I am very cautious, and think about what others will think, when I post to my blog, or create any content for the web. That’s a wise thing in general, it is a public venue, but there is such a thing as stifling yourself creatively, or possibly just not being confident in one’s own sense of art or content value.

Sometimes It’s Easier to Growl Than to Cry

This card also applies to my personal life, and related to the reading that I performed just the day before. The “Fighting” card came up when I asked, “How can I lessen my anxiety?” Again, I was defensive in that reading. Hmmm, a pattern? These two cards are intertwined, and so are my feelings of defensiveness.

I tend to become aggressive when I am passionate about something, and I feel misunderstood. I am often unaware of how this looks to others, sometimes it looks like I am fighting for something, instead of expressing my feelings. My aggressive communication style in these interactions relates to the “Politics” card. I am wearing a mask of defensiveness, when in reality, I am feeling something else, something deeper down the stairwell of my heart.

When I get in touch with those deeper feelings, I will be able to open up more genuinely in both my personal life, and through my blogging. This post is a step in that direction.

How can I relieve anxiety?

how can i relieve anxietyToday’s question for my one-card reading was, “How can I relieve anxiety?” The answer, fighting.

My first response was a defensive one. Oh the irony. I thought, my husband and I don’t fight (which is me in denial, of course we do – although it usually ends with us blaming the puppy, watching an episode of Dr. Phil and eating some sweet potato fries).

This card isn’t about fighting with someone else. It’s all about me, as are most readings. Our problems can usually be traced to something inside of ourselves.

“The figure in the card is completely covered in armor…If you look closely at the armor, you can see it is covered in buttons, ready to detonate if anybody so much as brushes up against them.”

Yea, ok. I’m uptight, I admit it. I’m easily distracted, sometimes easily discouraged, and often just all wound up. I can feel it in my body in the form of tension, and recently there’s a pounding in my head too. I have anxiety, big time. My suit of armor is a constant state of fight or flight, and my buttons are triggers of painful memories I wish to never relive.

This card is telling me if I want to relieve some of my anxiety, I need to stop spending so much energy on defenses, and focus more on letting my walls down, embracing the life and love all around me.

Easier said than done, one might say. Well, everything is. That doesn’t mean we can’t put one foot in front the other and journey forward.

Each reading I complete clicks a light on in a room I haven’t spent enough time in, giving me an opportunity to do something different. If I want less anxiety, I have to be willing to take off my armor, and show the world vulnerable me.

To see the video associated with this reading, click HERE (GiveIt100.com)